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Mostly one-liners at my own expense

Awkward AF

Midwest to West Coast

Please direct any and all complaints to the anthropomorphic hotdog that manages this account.

Pixelfed photos: @Alice

♾️

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Old English Word of the Day, by Dr Hana Videen, author of THE WORDHORD: DAILY LIFE IN OLD ENGLISH and THE DEORHORD: AN OLD ENGLISH BESTIARY.

","updated":"2026-01-28 22:20:37.622Z","user":"","username":"Old English Wordhord"},{"collectionId":"pbc_1295301207","collectionName":"activitypub_actors","created":"2026-01-21 15:03:39.694Z","domain":"mastodon.scot","followerCount":277,"followers":"https://mastodon.scot/users/Guy/followers","following":"https://mastodon.scot/users/Guy/following","followingCount":867,"icon":"https://media.mastodon.scot/accounts/avatars/109/309/753/399/358/598/original/859a8003565e22bc.jpg","id":"bbae5hbuaeeboe2","inbox":"https://mastodon.scot/users/Guy/inbox","iri":"https://mastodon.scot/users/Guy","isLocal":false,"last_fetched":"2026-01-28 22:20:37.808Z","outbox":"https://mastodon.scot/users/Guy/outbox","preferred_username":"Guy","public_key":"-----BEGIN PUBLIC KEY-----\nMIIBIjANBgkqhkiG9w0BAQEFAAOCAQ8AMIIBCgKCAQEA8cQaWy14oA2QNsYfQQnc\n2E68AJOVVtadPNJXcndvdyF101mOT4zHIISJhLUsKWB35R+5JgUADW6KhGDBit+J\nYa2cjASQfdlVRbT7yxgp9fpRxRLTu2g8b5jP7Xo+DhLMKCSeGW2oie6hgrtXklIE\npyoFUeOyifjOBwvR3wuiuQQGAy+pieOVMT1mIyXPOVUuKCuHpCt9hIO+PRy2snZP\nBZ4TUpvgoukBaTkGH0lO9xdTUJX7FLjPRo5H4zXtOG3wBTsPOzYGG7AGWkNAmWsm\nHZA+cLVCgaWhx7drWPx8LZ0OwKg5Ma2mwTMC2u4nEjl75kSG9VIXLtTdWkP6qxkT\n3QIDAQAB\n-----END PUBLIC KEY-----\n","published":"2022-11-08 00:00:00.000Z","summary":"

After 30 years in Shetland I've drifted back to #Cumbria. Interested in climate change, cooking, knitting, sewing, guitar noodling, PC gaming, gardening & grand children; in no particular order. Oh and #COYS.

Pronouns: Him/he/Oy You

","updated":"2026-01-28 22:20:37.809Z","user":"","username":"Guyroscope"},{"collectionId":"pbc_1295301207","collectionName":"activitypub_actors","created":"2026-01-20 10:08:22.435Z","domain":"mastodon.social","followerCount":2032,"followers":"https://mastodon.social/users/raventhesciencemaven/followers","following":"https://mastodon.social/users/raventhesciencemaven/following","followingCount":0,"icon":"https://files.mastodon.social/accounts/avatars/111/275/245/527/972/542/original/db86c29b8ec1fc92.png","id":"89uvrv58csucgth","inbox":"https://mastodon.social/users/raventhesciencemaven/inbox","iri":"https://mastodon.social/users/raventhesciencemaven","isLocal":false,"last_fetched":"2026-01-28 22:20:38.955Z","outbox":"https://mastodon.social/users/raventhesciencemaven/outbox","preferred_username":"raventhesciencemaven","public_key":"-----BEGIN PUBLIC KEY-----\nMIIBIjANBgkqhkiG9w0BAQEFAAOCAQ8AMIIBCgKCAQEAjXleWBo5bdftCr+8URRW\nOnd9JBcSTUQ5KyRVAHGcQrr8ZaKqepf7zecrlw3fDxLUxUHFTklnhtv2sdEodaii\n6dsHS6obSd3HHGyi2uxMvcleNg2qjBr2APaui1B2OKtm99dOsURXADmeEKfcNwMS\nEWae/cYwhO10Dj2vn2IXTJtqfHqr7LU1fEq1BbehNxssfqQM7eLW/jkPT7hi/rJD\nRvp4augcBNHeSSSZy8eKrx8B9MjPfhuFmRVlSSliMpRk0DCcfrtj1q+Jsly5O4dq\nKIlcJjz4boa/rUPKTUVKGWZGgisPoWdbUi+ESWzsM9DCJrMUxmnx1Dc4iFnIT/LT\n5wIDAQAB\n-----END PUBLIC KEY-----\n","published":"2023-10-21 00:00:00.000Z","summary":"","updated":"2026-01-28 22:20:38.956Z","user":"","username":"Dr. Raven the Science Maven"},{"collectionId":"pbc_1295301207","collectionName":"activitypub_actors","created":"2026-01-20 10:05:47.046Z","domain":"mastodon.social","followerCount":48331,"followers":"https://mastodon.social/users/Tutanota/followers","following":"https://mastodon.social/users/Tutanota/following","followingCount":36,"icon":"https://files.mastodon.social/accounts/avatars/000/207/529/original/54f1c149bd7d41f1.jpg","id":"d5xity8y191q4qc","inbox":"https://mastodon.social/users/Tutanota/inbox","iri":"https://mastodon.social/users/Tutanota","isLocal":false,"last_fetched":"2026-01-28 20:37:28.146Z","outbox":"https://mastodon.social/users/Tutanota/outbox","preferred_username":"Tutanota","public_key":"-----BEGIN PUBLIC KEY-----\nMIIBIjANBgkqhkiG9w0BAQEFAAOCAQ8AMIIBCgKCAQEA0nJOpbyDsoc+8Y6TEfmy\n4xJrUZEGZ7Pvq/FOiRS7XWOupycK/S2IPRuPP157vlXGf9fh7jKB9ef4FOtwGthi\ncRRDr1MOxYyEjVTxj71vYW2KUoWrJHiNLV3TGJg3eg3Fm6ZhnhtB090r+FouZQNB\nAvPPqRPbbuPO0wOP8l7v9cqkS7JCHpzHzkYxObqCTGpKANEUtZsNi9a8eTi9N4Vi\nGyp5gUtkhrgxQF7MDtGOj4obQ8xxxDTrr4LGnT1JXYOItmr++vakRhFWDY4v4K9s\ny5WJ+QtMpKsfT6w8d68RU432PdrAM/qPtdsISqRhpTRFJF1BoNkXkPHTY6UUKEEa\nLQIDAQAB\n-----END PUBLIC KEY-----\n","published":"2017-09-25 00:00:00.000Z","summary":"

Tuta is the secure email service with automatic encryption. We protect your emails from everyone - even from us! Committed to privacy and open source.

","updated":"2026-01-28 20:37:28.146Z","user":"","username":"Tuta"},{"collectionId":"pbc_1295301207","collectionName":"activitypub_actors","created":"2026-01-20 14:55:27.757Z","domain":"social.jvns.ca","followerCount":50295,"followers":"https://social.jvns.ca/users/b0rk/followers","following":"https://social.jvns.ca/users/b0rk/following","followingCount":344,"icon":"https://cdn.masto.host/socialjvnsca/accounts/avatars/109/660/480/300/389/072/original/5dda531c8ccfc0e8.jpg","id":"hiwwkh75c7v9ask","inbox":"https://social.jvns.ca/users/b0rk/inbox","iri":"https://social.jvns.ca/users/b0rk","isLocal":false,"last_fetched":"2026-01-28 22:20:39.650Z","outbox":"https://social.jvns.ca/users/b0rk/outbox","preferred_username":"b0rk","public_key":"-----BEGIN PUBLIC KEY-----\nMIIBIjANBgkqhkiG9w0BAQEFAAOCAQ8AMIIBCgKCAQEAwZmllN/DN/G2zFJ5qdgR\nrceA3+DnZ5mqOePaxsvgNCCMZo9CKmrXXoxFhZpsu9j75PqLcKoK/Q88zMVq7jLj\n0Vzt+ayqu1CLENxHQPHTUC/aaB+fqYEh0PDzENFWN/OPeSdAAPECV1r8SLro0EEv\nAh+xhSaFsuk7B3YfWVqXuXNwqj1EMJZzTOhgaNfiKVAMo3CxYe5uT++I35zIxPsK\ni/EydtYPZ5PeMtmjVyfMEYv8/7aHOmfynqwCmZf+icrv6OtUhyYKzX9+ByfUtSKQ\nDyxtHUUzZ/fU/V2o3AjieZWSOIdqGJSQ5cnQLj0/uRvz76Lj16D3/0Jlq1cKqevS\nmwIDAQAB\n-----END PUBLIC KEY-----\n","published":"2023-01-09 00:00:00.000Z","summary":"

programming and exclamation marks

I have DMs muted from people I don’t follow.

","updated":"2026-01-28 22:20:39.650Z","user":"","username":"Julia Evans"},{"collectionId":"pbc_1295301207","collectionName":"activitypub_actors","created":"2026-01-20 10:03:07.804Z","domain":"mastodon.social","followerCount":1747,"followers":"https://mastodon.social/users/FluentInFinance/followers","following":"https://mastodon.social/users/FluentInFinance/following","followingCount":2205,"icon":"https://files.mastodon.social/accounts/avatars/109/961/341/410/508/917/original/6ac782c3b41fad03.png","id":"4knlgrnmgzjwise","inbox":"https://mastodon.social/users/FluentInFinance/inbox","iri":"https://mastodon.social/users/FluentInFinance","isLocal":false,"last_fetched":"2026-01-28 20:31:40.994Z","outbox":"https://mastodon.social/users/FluentInFinance/outbox","preferred_username":"FluentInFinance","public_key":"-----BEGIN PUBLIC KEY-----\nMIIBIjANBgkqhkiG9w0BAQEFAAOCAQ8AMIIBCgKCAQEA1DgvOAwF1Wkjp7q5UEOM\nzcAklU33AggIc9k5ZsxOagL0HwVKY4u0OgJtDnPHgdR2yxgH/YPfVuC8qkfeVoTi\n9/vXyPFenlwrG0tt0KTRPq++rKp9ho9oTIIbYAAuD7DYYtV/QssxYwr4pQxc3/nV\nLniwOlg9WHP/p880n4ZW53FH6B8dzZzUF6qcKiIq2oSvJSkvttIf8V2pzGNL/VwR\nEwzg2TvksAYHdcXkIvEk5cVSWTYwNqnEWW2MxLZuZ5QLc/wjBMxfc9k/eWUshz06\njJtDjJ85yEM/yJgSz9rVzCp5sAkgL9rYoUn+ZWdOyGsMZ2n7/OzNoyQgTRrw94F1\nUQIDAQAB\n-----END PUBLIC KEY-----\n","published":"2023-03-03 00:00:00.000Z","summary":"

I write https://TheFinanceNewsletter.com, trusted by 100,000+ readers to get smarter with the economy, geopolitics & finance.  20 years in finance. Follow for daily insights & turn notifications on!

","updated":"2026-01-28 20:31:40.995Z","user":"","username":"Andrew Lokenauth"},{"collectionId":"pbc_1295301207","collectionName":"activitypub_actors","created":"2026-01-21 21:18:26.903Z","domain":"beige.party","followerCount":11092,"followers":"https://beige.party/users/RickiTarr/followers","following":"https://beige.party/users/RickiTarr/following","followingCount":8631,"icon":"https://media.beige.party/accounts/avatars/109/365/784/694/454/089/original/36e960b53aedafc6.jpg","id":"pm6y5f9bygm19ec","inbox":"https://beige.party/users/RickiTarr/inbox","iri":"https://beige.party/users/RickiTarr","isLocal":false,"last_fetched":"2026-01-28 22:20:39.824Z","outbox":"https://beige.party/users/RickiTarr/outbox","preferred_username":"RickiTarr","public_key":"-----BEGIN PUBLIC KEY-----\nMIIBIjANBgkqhkiG9w0BAQEFAAOCAQ8AMIIBCgKCAQEAytFO1kckd/q6ax6MUHqm\n5mRZ/POYU4acF11I9Hi4aP5eb8wItJDaBpFxL4ydGANW/Sj/sihO1ni0yq5X5aNN\nJj7abeigHOOSZYXch4a12yRznavCXbBwODRzGsE70gbx6KLm0dL5oscD6jE+IfLN\n0AC7/xcx7m1HlrqiHuCiLyJwDBwuHGW8yQseRz0YoTm8hB3ZXhExsqqz6K2g6ih6\nSDeoVgwnK7g/tzJZla4zl33+tgIeJs0T2QT9a7Cy9cQvu2wSiwrHEKKhFw4ujStZ\nqD6ABRWu05h/LJYwDMYfgb+hJ7iBrz+0Ur5MDlYP+YF0Urb8HFQ/zm+8dMw0WQxg\nBwIDAQAB\n-----END PUBLIC KEY-----\n","published":"2022-11-18 00:00:00.000Z","summary":"

Am I doing this right?

","updated":"2026-01-28 22:20:39.824Z","user":"","username":"Ricki Yasha Tarr"},{"collectionId":"pbc_1295301207","collectionName":"activitypub_actors","created":"2026-01-20 12:56:23.366Z","domain":"mastodon.social","followerCount":17572,"followers":"https://mastodon.social/users/heidilifeldman/followers","following":"https://mastodon.social/users/heidilifeldman/following","followingCount":690,"icon":"https://files.mastodon.social/accounts/avatars/109/246/757/955/923/998/original/1df93311f36888fa.jpeg","id":"9te6q01ldk9q4s1","inbox":"https://mastodon.social/users/heidilifeldman/inbox","iri":"https://mastodon.social/users/heidilifeldman","isLocal":false,"last_fetched":"2026-01-28 22:20:40.159Z","outbox":"https://mastodon.social/users/heidilifeldman/outbox","preferred_username":"heidilifeldman","public_key":"-----BEGIN PUBLIC KEY-----\nMIIBIjANBgkqhkiG9w0BAQEFAAOCAQ8AMIIBCgKCAQEAp2zhOUjBiXc9tVV0aPLi\noRFBAiKenvn2VFRi8DTHj26HXatiCwxRH4h7uIf7UzbTI5wyKDTwLVvzfXS17Bz3\nEWvpUpOmmD2+1T+pBzonW/RdY2FMpnPO+A0etEFzomfXbptB5VC5OFS/6lJG+VdN\nnSJtLai7zbFaRPlnRzQ+xPB8gKKPBbr959pX8EqivK4IihqOqCr8Ie6FiQrkrPMd\nYsY3b3AKi5+iK+OvH/2c+VvON9rAo7SSxaEmOTBUlBAY+KT4SeYr6Wgdt1MJ8s86\nGxil166A3e0qcjcoOSGNi2bcKx8owM65rV4NHSmUr3B18mQGGC/ID6ajHZPZpFzv\nVwIDAQAB\n-----END PUBLIC KEY-----\n","published":"2022-10-28 00:00:00.000Z","summary":"

Law professor (emeritus), philosopher, progressive. Committed to rule of law and pluralistic democracy. Interests include art, books, history, science, cats, sharp wit. Boosts are not necessarily endorsements.

","updated":"2026-01-28 22:20:40.160Z","user":"","username":"Heidi Li Feldman"}],"page":1,"perPage":10,"totalItems":77,"totalPages":8}

Confused Middle Aged Dad

Following